how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i think my cat just said my name.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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