you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
