i permit you to call me
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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