stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
