I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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