how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
