apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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