So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
