i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
