i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Betty ford says i'm here all night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
