I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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