it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
