1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
where are you?
Hypothermia
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
