so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
