Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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