Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
