Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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