even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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