look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize