I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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