All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
