Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
