Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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