if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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