ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
