Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize