She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
