really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
