Christians are straight up FREAKS
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
