you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
