i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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