oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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