Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
