If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
