I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
