Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
