She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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