The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
