If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
