you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
then he tried to convert me to islam
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I will be naked everywhere
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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