I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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