Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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