oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
