hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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