You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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