apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
