So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
