yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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