This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
All I want is dick and wine.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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