I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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