im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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