we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
