The maid of honor just puked.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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