we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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