Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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