he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
