dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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